Say It So It Sticks: 5 Tips to Give Feedback That People Actually Listen To

🧭 Giving Feedback that Works

Let's face it — people don't always remember what you said, but they remember how you made them feel. Giving feedback well isn't just about using the right words. It's about your timing, your tone, and your intention. Here's how to make sure your feedback lands — and doesn't get ignored or resented.

🎯 5 Tips to Give Feedback That People Actually Listen To

1. 1. Choose the right moment
   Feedback in the middle of a stressful meeting? Probably not ideal. Wait for a calm moment or schedule a private chat.
   Why it works: People listen better when they feel safe and calm. Timing builds trust.
2. 2. Focus on the behavior, not the person
   Say: "The email didn't include the key data," not "You're careless."
   Why it works: Separating the person from the action keeps the conversation respectful and reduces defensiveness.
3. 3. Be specific, not vague
   Don't say: "That wasn't great." Say: "Next time, let's avoid using too many slides in the presentation."
   Why it works: Specific feedback gives people a clear path to improvement.
4. 4. Balance the message
   Use the "feedback sandwich": Start with something positive, give the critique, then end with encouragement.
   Why it works: People feel less attacked and more motivated to improve.
5. 5. Check for understanding
   Ask: "Does that make sense?" or "What do you think about that?"
   Why it works: It opens the door to conversation — not just correction. Feedback becomes a dialogue, not a lecture.

💬 Class Discussion Questions

• Why do you think people sometimes ignore feedback?
• What's the difference between helpful feedback and hurtful criticism?
• Which of these tips would be hardest for you to use in English? Why?
• Practice giving feedback using tips 2 and 3: one person plays a team lead, the other a new employee.